Four months after leaving a two-month treatment program for her eating disorder, Kesha is opening up about her personal struggle in an essay in ELLE UK. I think it's extremely courageous of her to share such personal & difficult things with the world.
There is so much pressure for celebrities (and for all women) to look a certain way & to meet certain standards of beauty. It can really cause havoc on a person's mental state and self esteem. It's not an easy thing to deal with and Kesha took action to try to feel better, and I really admire that. I now have even more respect for Kesha knowing she has fought internal battles.
Here are some excerpts from Kesha's essay:
"That first day in treatment was the scariest of my life.. I worried about what people would think. I was here for an eating disorder—but I knew people would assume I was here for other things.. Sure, I've written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I'm actually incredibly responsible. I take my music and career very seriously, and certainly didn't land in this situation from partying. But I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support.. I've always tried to be a crusader for loving yourself, but I'd been finding it harder and harder to do personally… I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong."
"The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that.. I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible. I became scared to go in public, or even use the internet. I may have been paranoid, but I also saw and heard enough hateful things to fuel that paranoia."
"I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body.. I wanted to control things that weren't in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job. It felt safer somehow."
On her time in rehab:
"During that time I began to feel a shift in my mentality and really started to understand my own self-worth. I started to not worry as much about what other people thought of me,.. I could focus on my music and my happiness and not what I looked like... I'm not fully fixed—I am a person in progress—but I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are," she said. "And when I say that, I f**king mean it, now more than ever."
Erica America is a Radio Personality, Television Host and licensed Psychotherapist, LMHC. She can be seen & heard weekly on The World Famous Z100, Nick Radio and 'Dr. Drew On Call' on HLNTV.
Beginning her broadcast career on MTV in 2001 in their VJ competition, Erica later founded celebrity interview website iamericamag.com in 2005, known for unique and edgy video interviews with emerging artists. She hosted videos for Heeb Magazine, was Spin Magazine's Warped Tour Reporter in 2006 and has written for Yellow Rat Bastard Magazine. She has appeared on multiple television shows including Showbiz Tonight, The Dr. Drew Show, Fuse TV (Absolute POP, Trending 10, The F List), and appeared on Sirius Satellite Radio's Howard 101.
Erica graduated from The George Washington University in 2004 with a Bachelor of Science in Business and Communication. She went on to receive a Master of Arts in Mental Health Counseling from Brooklyn College and later received her license in Mental Health Counseling. Using both her background in psychology and her intense enthusiasm for everything "pop culture", Erica fuses entertainment and analytic insight as a dynamic television and radio personality.