The ladies of Total Sorority Move have come up with a guide for one of the most mysterious things in the world. I am also pretty positive that girls don't poop, but if you do have to do the doo, here are a few tips:
The best way to escape blame is to blame someone else, and that’s easily the best way to escape getting caught. Every time you have company over, go to the restroom IMMEDIATELY after your guest. You’ll easily be able to pass off any blame on your unsuspecting target.
Public Restrooms Are Your Friend
I know. I KNOW. They’re gross and you can get AIDS from toilet seats, right? Well, that’s a risk you’re going to have to take. If you wouldn’t rather get AIDS than let a nearby male know there’s even a chance of you pooping, you deserve to get caught.
Always Go After Him
The time he’s least likely to go to the restroom is right after he’s already been. Your nose will regret this decision immediately, but your dignity will not. Power through the pain, and realize that whatever torment you’re going through, nothing could be worse than the horror on his face when he realizes that yes, his girlfriend actually poops.