This Craigslist Ad Will Leave You In Tears

posted by @RadioMoBounce - 

Craigslist is choc-full of quality -- but sometimes shady -- content, just check out people trying to sell mirrors. There's almost an expectation that when you post something interesting to CL it has to be funny or entertaining. A guy selling his Toyota Corolla in Houston, Texas decided to take his post to the next level...like Pulitzer level. He posted the car for $2,500 along with a compelling essay about why you want to and need to purchase this car from him.

Read the full post after the jump...

The post was flagged and removed from Craigslist (a crime, really), but the internet was smart enough to save the post so that we could enjoy it forever. 

There's some *language* in here...

****

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.

The 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Let’s talk about features.

Bluetooth: nope

Sunroof: nope

Fancy wheels: nope

Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a f***ing neck that can turn.

Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a sh** and ignored it. It went away. The End.   

You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would f***ing start right up.   

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children. 

Things this car is old enough to do: 

Vote: yes 

Consent to sex: yes 

Rent a car: it IS a car  

This car’s got history. It’s seen some sh**. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a f***ing Volkswagen would.   

Interesting facts: This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey. In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.” When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”

You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. 

Favorite food: spaghetti 

Favorite tv show: Alf 

Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.” 

Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The f***ing 1999 Toyota Corolla.

***

This guy is a hero.


{h/t BroBible}

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