For the second year in a row I found myself at a New Year's party, once again kissing my best friend on the cheek at midnight. Now don't get me wrong, I love my best friend and a New Year's without her just wouldn't be right, but I couldn't help looking around at the couples and think, will 2019 be my year? I always start the year being open to going on new dates, telling myself I won't lose myself in another failed relationship.... And yet every year the same things happens. I casually date for a few months and throw myself to men who are just not end game.
Now it's time to pick myself up again and do it all over for 2019. How will I stop myself from making the same mistakes? Well here's a list of resolutions I came up with to help me get to where I want to be by this time next year.
Let Your Friends/Acquaintances Know You Are Looking
Dating is basically networking when you think about it. When looking for a new job you always tell people in the industry that you're looking for something new... Well the same goes for dating. It's always wise to let your friends and even close acquaintances know you are looking to meet someone. This way when they are out and about with a social group other than yours they can be on the lookout for you! I always start by telling my friends in relationships already or men that are CLEARLY friends.
Move On From The Guy Wasting Your Time
Easier said than done, trust me I know. This year I spent NYE's in a room with the guy who wasted my time for 6 months and his new victim and it was nauseating.... Time to say goodbye officially from those guys that lead you on in 2018. Why do you want to surround yourself with men who have showed time and time again they just don't care?! When Matthew Hussey (relationship expert) came into the Elvis Duran Show a few months ago he said those types of guys that keep you around but never fully commit will NEVER commit to you. Let go, he says and move on. Do things for you to help you get there like hanging out with your girlfriends and maybe picking up an activity that you used to love. Growing up I was a dancer and now I'm thinking of trying some dance-inspired fitness classes or maybe even taking a class at the Broadway Dance Center or something!
Stay Confident - Stay Woke
Living in a place like New York City everyone's heads are down, looking at their phones or just focused on where they need to be. Take a look around every once in awhile though. You never know where you're going to meet someone. If you're anything like me, dating apps are just too difficult. I can't do small talk on my phone it just feels weird. Walking with a little more confidence and my head up I'm noticing more and more guys around me. The next step would be to go up and talk to him (something I'll definitely be working on this year). Men like a confident woman - so go show him how bold you can be and make the first move!
SAY YES in 2019! When your friends are making plans say 'yes' even when you feel like putting on sweats and crawling into your bed at 8pm on a Tuesday. This one can be hard because being social can get expensive... Drinks, trying new restaurants, activities - the costs add up. However there are things you can do on a budget! Going sledding when the snow starts to fall or going to restaurants that are byob might help the cost! The important thing is to not let yourself fall into the routine of just going straight home after work.
Well that's all from me for now! Every week I'll give an update on things I did to put myself out there a little more. Hopefully this will keep me on track for 2019 and you the same! We got this :)