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Dating is different than it used to be. Singles no longer have to hang around bars hoping to meet someone special, they can just open an app and have thousands of people just like them at their fingertips.
But these new ways of finding love haven’t made things easier for some, and many are taking a break from dating altogether. Anney Reese and Samantha McVey, hosts of Stuff Mom Never Told You, explain that the entire culture around dating needs to change, specifically when it comes to making women feel safe.
“For a lot of women, a bad date is not funny,” Reese said. “It is scary and dangerous.”
Reese said the initial idea for their episode “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Dates: Part 1” was to tell funny bad date stories, but after talking with many of her friends she realized that scary and dangerous was the common theme among their bad date stories.
“This is sort of excepted,” she said. “Every woman I talked to had this, truly horrendous (story.) It makes me very mad that this is dating.”
McVey talked about how these horror stories have a common theme, men who push themselves on their dates, creating toxic and bad situations in the process. Women have extra steps they have to take in order to prepare themselves to date safely that men do not have to take, she said. McVey added that having conversations about safe dating is important to keep women safe, and men need to do a better job at listening to women when it comes to their dating fears. It's a conversation that is often ignored and contributes to the dating fatigue so many are feeling.
“It’s to the point to where you and I are like, ‘Okay, we’re good,’” said McVey. “In my mind, if (my boyfriend and I) were to breakup, or it ends, I don’t I want to try again.”
This burnout is felt by single women across the country as many just opt out of the dating culture much like Reese herself. The host explained she hasn’t actively dated in a long time and listening to the bad date horror stories from her friends reminded her of why she wasn’t.
“One of my thoughts was that 'This is not worth it,'” said Reese. “I have two (friends) and they're like ‘I’m done with it. I don’t find it fulfilling, I don’t feel like I need it and it’s not worth it.'”
She adds that the decision whether to date is a personal decision, and she understands the importance of close relationships. However, she also said the number of women deciding to quit seeking partners altogether says a lot about the current state of dating.
“We are having women opt-out of (dating) by high margins,” said Reese. “I know there have been reports on it a lot recently where they are like ‘No one is dating, no one wants to have kids! Why?’ I’ve got a lot of examples why, you just need to talk to people.”
Listen to the full episode of “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Dates: Part 1” to hear the full discussion on modern dating culture. The hosts of Stuff Mom Never Told You have also released part two to this episode where they get into specific examples of bad dates. Find both episodes as well as the entire podcast catalog on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
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